Fs Friday

Couldn't pick just one F today because today was Full of all kinds of F... First F of the day was Fitness... Do to vehicle issues I walked 1.5 miles so I could complete errands... I first walked to a local parish... Spent a few moments in Adoration... I then dropped off some papers... I started my walk to the bank... I deposited two checks, chit chatted and then I was off again... A short walk over to the grocery store to the 'blue' mail boxes... I dropped in a bill I had been meaning to mail for some time... Next I headed home... I haven't walked this far in a long time... Goodness knows it was good for me... I'm proud of myself... I had doubts that I could accomplish such a task... The next F leads me to Foul Mood... I was extremely unhappy starting Thursday night and most of Friday that I had no vehicle and may not have one for some time... However my mood Flipped when my husband with the help of a coworker brought both vehicles home tonight after work... So, there you have it... My Friday...

Truthful Thursday

I am either burning out or headed on a fast train to burn out... I'm putting on the breaks but feel like I'm going to hit that burn out brick wall at any moment... ::sigh:: I'm just feeling overwhelmed and hard to tell which way I should go...

Are you burning out? <~~ link to quiz

Your score indicates that you have many signs of burnout

People that score in this range sometimes have trouble coping with the demands of daily life. They often feel overwhelmed. They sometimes lack energy and are unable to manage stress. They have trouble sleeping and have many physical complaints.

People who score in this range are not usually able to set realistic and attainable goals for themselves. They can be pessimistic about their work and future. They are often unable to relax and enjoy their non-working time. They have a very difficult time separating work life and home life.

People who score in this range cannot typically control and recognise their feelings or act on them appropriately. They sometimes have difficulty learning from their mistakes. They often lack compassion and respect for other people. They can feel isolated and alone.

People who score in this range can be excellent workers. However, because of their desire to get ahead they often take on too much work and responsibility. They often become so overwhelmed that they lose their focus and are not able to do their best work. They can become confused about what is expected of them and become distressed when they feel they are not living up to assumed expectations. They can become bitter, angry and resentful.

However, there is hope for people on the verge of burnout so don't give up! You can regain control and begin to enjoy your work again. People who score in this range can decrease their level of burnout by setting realistic work goals, making time for themselves, exercising, being open to the idea of changing jobs, reading books about handling stress, keeping a diary, pursuing an interest outside work, spending time with their families and friends, overcoming negative thoughts, getting involved in some community activity, and, most importantly, by learning to say no.

Much Time Away - Monday

I really needed to take some time away... Things have been up and down here... I'm struggling with many things right now... I'm still trying to sort through them... My oldest, monkey and peanut are all done with school... Linebacker had his first birthday and is doing well... He is currently learning to walk while wearing shoes... He has always been barefoot and only walked indoors... Now that the weather is warming up a bit he is spending more time out back and needs the proper foot protection... He really enjoys exploring the backyard... He toddles around and checks every thing out... He recieved a swing for his birthday and he loves swinging with the breeze blowing... My garden hasn't gone so well this year... Linebacker was born mid-gardening season last year... The year ended well but I didn't do any end of the season prep before the snow came... We placed a lock on the gate... We didn't find the key till a week before Memorial day... The key (along with a whole group of others) was lost last Tues and we haven't been able to find it... Right now we have to do decide whether to keep looking for the missing key(s) or just cut the lock off and start over... We also added some 'compost' that wasn't right or something and the soil consistentcy is a mess now... I will probably have to empty each of my boxes completely and start over again... It makes me angry and I haven't even gone at to look at the garden in days... Remember when our kitchen leaked in February and the insurance company refused to do anything about it... We had the roof repaired in May... About 10 days ago or more we put up green board to replace the 'tile' ceiling... We are also in the process of staining our stair railing... The installer left it unfinished... We sanded it down and prepared it for stain... We are now staining it piece by piece... Each spindle has to be removed and stained the put back... We can only do a few at a time... We have 6 done and 6 more to go... We are still working here in the computer room as well with dry walling... We need to sand it down and put another coat of mud on... Hopefully it will be ready for primer then... I'm making a lasagna for a friend today who had surgery today... Today has been a pretty typical day... I picked up my oldest meds from the pharmacy... Stopped at the cathedral and registered for CCD for the fall... I went to the hardware store and picked up some more door keys (the little tuna can lookin' key) and a light bulb for the vent hood over the stove... I picked up the Italian link sausage I forgot yesterday that I need for the lasagna... This was all precedded and followed by the usual laundry, pick up, meals for the children, etc... I'm hoping to be posting regularly again now... I also spoke with a friend about my thoughts on discontinuing homeschooling completely...

Tired - Thursday

I wasn't posting because I was busy but now I'm just in a bad mood... I doubt anyone wants to hear about how irritated and just plain spiteful toward anyone who dare even breathe near me...

Where? Wednesday

Where does the day seem to go? I'm not really sure... I don't want to board my readers but right now I need my blog to list my accomplishments during the day... Right now at the end of the day I'm thinking what did I do today? I feel that I didn't do much... I know that isn't true... Starting today I'm going to work on listing all the many tasks I preformed on most messages till I'm out of this so what did you do today? Only to think did nothing...

Breakfast
Taxi Mom
Peanut ST
Laundry - 3 loads
Oldest Psych Appt
Lunch
Nap
Monkey ST
Dinner
Return Library Materials
Cook Dinner For Tomorrow - BBCue Chicken in Oven
Apple Pie
Pick Up House
Nurse/Change Linebacker - Several Times

More to come later...

Simply Saturday

It's simply another Saturday... Today I've done simply things I would do most any other Saturday... I woke up and fed Linebacker carrots and oatmeal... I sauteed onions in butter and fried up a lb of bacon... I made 6 scrambled eggs and shredded cheese... We had breakfast burritos... These consist of a tortilla filled with breakfast type items... Today ours had scrambled eggs, shredded cheese, onions, a slice or two of bacon and salsa... Roll it up and eat... We also had tater triangles on the side with ketchup... I ate a bowl of strawberries and blueberries while feeding Linebacker... I haven't done so well with drink of water today... I'm in a bad mood again... I did remember to take my vitamin... I fixed the tub faucet after our oldest stripped it by being too rough with it... This required the use of a flat head screw driver, adjustable wrench, and a tiny Allen wrench aka a hex key... Luckily it was the cold water... After I disassembled it and stopped the water I reassembled it and it's working perfectly now... I ate a snack of PB & Banana sandwich... Returned two of my husband's DVDs to the library... Scrubbed blue Xs off the wall my oldest decided to draw all over upstairs... Hopefully the stain of blue crayon left behind on the wood won't show after we stain it... Oldest and his staff finally have his rooms cleaned to our standards... I did a bit of laundry... Wrote a few emails and played a couple computer games... My husband is working so I wasn't out running tons of errands today... We spent the day at home trying to reclaim it from the chaos... It's not really dirty just cluttered up again because of laziness and busyness... I found a neat tool to help me track what I eat My Pyramid Menu Tracker... Today I'm behind on Grains (4 oz) and Veggies (2-1/2 C.)... It recommends for a nursing mother like myself to consume 10 oz of Grains, 3-1/2 C. Veggies, 2-1/2 C. Fruits, 3 C. Milk and 7 oz of Meat & Beans per day... I plan to do it each day for a week and see if I'm consistently behind in a certain group or if it varies and all even out by the end of the week... I'll let you all know...

Filled with Thoughts - Friday

I have a lot on my mind today... Things are changing around here for the good but how to make through these changes is what I am struggling with... Today I made my family's version of Mexican Layer Dip... I have the recipe on Tasty Thursday (will write that soon)... I de-cluttered my sewing area which is related to my struggles... How does one down-size? It is obvious... Painfully so... We have too much 'stuff'... Yet it is hard to part with 'things' because it cost money which most of you know we have very little of... So, we feel we must keep these items because we did use what money we had to buy them... The price of things only seems to go up as we progress into the future... So, buy now why the price is still low... ::smirk:: I don't know... This is just really hard... As a parent we all want our children to have so many things yet we don't want them be selfish or be ungrateful with what they have... How do we find balance? What do they 'truly' need? I feel we haven't been good stewards of the wealth we have been provided which in part is our fault for falling into the whole commercialism nonsense... We are all bombarded every day with all this 'you need this' or 'to be a good parent your child needs this'... After the fact you feel bad you spent all that money (you never can obtain what you paid for an item it automatically loses value), your child lost interest in the item quickly and here you are stuck with this thing you should never have bought in the first place... ::sigh:: I am truly at a loss as to the best course of action...

Time Off Thursday

I'm going to take some time off... See you all soon...

Happy Thanksgiving...

Struggles

I'm really struggling with a few things here... I'm having that outsider/alone feeling again... My friends and I seem to have less in common now... I'm not sure how to feel/handle that... Hopefully the big mess that exploded mid-August will be over with before the next 'meeting' on Wednesday... We will see... I cleaned off my plate with 'outside' activities yet feel like I'm still overwhelmed and can't accomplish anything... Which isn't logical at all... I despise illogical things! I'm just confused and not sure which way to go or who to talk to in able to sort things out... I just know things are in need of changing but unsure as to how to change them... I'm not sure if I updated but Linebacker is now 13 lbs and 7 oz... I took Monkey to a Dino event at the library... He really enjoyed that... Things are going well with all the children's regular schooling... I can't say so much for their religious education... It's really difficult for me as a convert to grasp it and complete the activities... Either I wasn't absorbing said material in RCIA or they just didn't teach it... Your guess is as good as mine... I'd appreciate prayers... Thank you...

Prayers

Linebacker and I could really use your prayers... Thank you...

I'm afraid my plate is going to have to be scrapped off and I'm going to have to drop out of all my activities... I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with doing this but I know it is something I will have to do... ::sigh:: I just can't keep going this way...

This That and The Other Thing

Not much to report since Wednesday... I went to the local quilt show hosted by the local guild it was eh... ok... I can now say I've been and don't plan to go back again for as long as I live here... Don't get me the wrong the quilts were indescribable... No words I could type here could do justice to their beauty but the hosts and other quilt goers... Talk about a room full of snobs... You think I was some thief waiting for their backs to be turned and steal something... Very un welcoming... Exactly how they behaved at the guild meeting... Only been there once and never going back there again either... It was like I was a joke for just showing up with my first row not even a finished quilt... When I showed my first paper pieced block that was entered into a drawing and won a DVD was some kind of entertainment... You would have thought I was a hired clown... It's a total mockery and inferiority if you make your quilts with non quilt shop only fabric and don't pay hundreds of dollars to have it long armed quilted or spend years hand quilting it yourself... I find that just close minded... Making a quilted item is more then how much you paid to make it or how many ribbons/awards it wins or how much is sells for... It's an emotion expressed by the Quilter with fabric for another to feel upon being wrapped up in it or viewing it... I've talked to hundreds of Quilters from all over the world and our guild is somewhat unique with it's hoity toity attitudes... So, beware! I dropped off and picked up our home school groups directory... It turned out magnificent... Better then I could ever expect... Great job Kinkos! There is an added surprise related to it's printing but I can't share till after our opening mass and pizza party for the group... ::wink:: We started our CCD classes... I'm using a new curriculum this year and haven't quite figured it out yet... It is a program called Family Faith Formation... This month's "theme" is Angels... I picked up several supplemental texts from our fabulous Catholic Bookstore in town, Holy Family... I sure will miss that place when we leave... I hope to find a new one in my new 'home'... I'm all ready for 40 days for life... I'm excited about being able for the first time to attend Walk with Christ for Life Sunday with the Bishop this year... I'm just hope I'm up for the Eucharistic procession from the Cathedral to our only abortion facility in the ENTIRE state... I was given some items to eBay... I now have to figure out how to go about listing them... I have some thoughts and will keep you updated... I'm excited about my new 'project'... Linebacker is doing well... We have successfully been able to adjust his nursing schedule... I will know better our success at his next weight in... I guess there isn't much more to write... I will write when I can...

Terrible Thursday

Today started out fine and then went down hill around the lunch hour... I'm too upset about it and won't be blogging or emailing... I also won't be posting the PICs for the Antique today... Sorry...

Many Things Happening Monday

WOW!!! When you are out of the habit of blogging it is hard to go back into the habit... As promised I'm going to start writing daily again... Today was a pretty quiet day... We are done with ESY so we won't have to wake up super early any more for a couple of weeks... I'm enjoying sleeping in a bit... Today I did 3 loads of dishes in the dishwasher... Everything had fallen apart over the weekend... Now I'm all caught up... I also did 3 loads of laundry... I'm almost caught up with that... I don't know what is with my oldest... He has done a couple things today he has never done and it bothers me! I'm going to have to stay up and talk to my husband about what he just did... I'm really concerned with his safety and the safety of his siblings if they decide to copy his behaviors... ::sigh:: Just when I thought things were really improving! I'm reorganizing my life again... I worked out my fall schedule following the Super Nanny method... I hope to go back to the MOTH method... I just haven't had time to read more of the book... I've been reading all of Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Solution Books... Things are out of hand and I'm trying to rein things back into control before it is a really big mess... Mood wise I've been feeling pretty good... Less stressed then I was... I was a huge mess... I only ran out briefly today to pick up a gallon of milk and a jar of applesauce to make it to payday... Linebacker is calling for a meal so I'm going to have to call it a day on my blog... I hope to be back soon and update when I was MIA...

Tired Tuesday

That says it all I'm tired... Please Lord give rest... Things improved slightly after nap... I was finally able to pick up Peanut's extra special birthday gift... That had been bothering... Check out was a mess... I will go into that later when I'm not typing with one hand... ::smirk::

Troublesome Tuesday

I had a very upsetting day... There are many things that are bothering me... I talked with a friend online about them and that made me feel better but I'm still very troubled by it... The two books that were 'missing' magicially appeared... I picked them up today... So, now I'm done this that... That was annoying and bothering me... I ran around town and dropped off things that I didn't want in my house any more... That made me feel a bit better about that thing that is really bothering me... Monkey had OT... He did really awesome today with his drawing and cutting... Woo hoo!!! That made me feel really proud... I picked up swimming outfits for all 3 children and it cost less then $15... How awesome is that... A giftcard came today... A BIG THANK YOU to the sender... You know who you are... ::grin:: So, I'm going on a huge shopping spree at Walmart later this week to pick up things the children need... My oldest went swimming in his new swim trunks today... They fit perfectly and he had a great time!

Frustrated and Fun Friday

The first half of the day was awesome... The second half was the frustrating part... I will start with the end of the day and then go back and talk about the morning to end of a positive note... I ready the littles to go pick up my oldest with respite worker in tow... We arrive... I start asking well where is this and that... They start looking... They only found a few of the things I requested... The rest they said they would hopefully find later... Otherwise make a list and cost and they would pay us... One thing missing is his Rand McNally 1934 World Atlas Book... ::eye roll:: We sat there for over an hour waiting till we could leave... I signed tons of paperwork... I was given one RX and they fax'd the other I needed... I'm not sure why they did it that way... He had quite the episode while the 'staff' ran around looking for things... Thank God for Plexiglas or there would have been at least 3-4 broken windows in the place... I love how they said prior to his episode he is stable... Yea, that is the picture of stability... We can't even leave and he is pounding on windows, doors and walls... So, we finally made it out... We head to the pharmacy because I'm thinking once I'm home I want to be home... Taking him out again probably wouldn't be a good idea... I wasn't sure how unstable his behavior would be... I had the respite worker with me... So, at least I wasn't alone with all 4... We were stuck at the traffic light prior to the railroad tracks... It wouldn't change because a train was going by... When I saw the train I was hoping this would help calm him since he loves the trains... It has the opposite effect... My oldest wanted to be closer so he could watch... He had another episode in the van and banged on the vent window in the sliding door he sits next to... Nothing I could do but wait it out... I was boxed in and couldn't switch lanes... Luckily it wasn't a long train... He was still very upset about the train thing 6 blocks away when we arrived at the pharmacy... I laid down some ground rules about going in the building to the pharmacy before going in... He was mostly calm... He couldn't sit still but that is understandable... He was still quite anxious and agitated by the train thing... The pharmacist who knows us put a rush on his order (moved us a head of everyone else)... She understand he has difficulty waiting and could tell he was already upset... Her plans were foiled when she tried to run billing... She told me the doctor didn't have a participating provider number for my oldest insurance and without that number she couldn't bill it... I gave her the number from memory of where we had just left... She tried several times and still didn't make it any where... She said go on home and she would call when they were ready... It has now been a half hour... We even tried contacting our usual psych (another number I gave from memory, pharmacist was impressed at my skills) but he had left of the day... It is now 4 PM on a Friday and I'm livid... There is no way I'm going through almost 3 days with no medicine for my son... Considering he is acting this way on his meds... So, I call over to where we had just left once I arrived home and told them they need to do something about this and do it now... After another 20-30 minutes (after I had left the pharmacy) everything was solved... The respite still had a bit of time left before her shift for the day was over... My oldest was happily picking up sticks that had fallen down in the yard during our recent rains... I pack up the littles and head back to the pharmacy... The pharmacist apologizes about the issues and the delay... I told her it wasn't her fault and not worry about it... Also, thank you for all her help... We chatted a bit about Linebacker and then I headed back home... I don't think she had seen him yet... We know several pharmacist there as well as their helpers what ever they are called... So, everything worked out... I had all the meds I needed for the weekend well the whole month... The rest of the night after the ordeal was much better... Everyone went right down to nap as scheduled, ate a good dinner, bathed and went to bed with no hassles... Now to the first part of the day... Monkey and Peanut had their first back to back ST session... That went pretty well... It has been 4 weeks since Linebacker's birth... Everything is going well... Today is his Saint's Feast Day... St. Anthony of Padua... So, we had a mini celebration about that... Now on to a very special part of our day that happened first thing...
Monkey had his Safety Town Graduation (told in pictures and captions)!!!
This is outside... He is said it was cold... So, I guess that can explain the expression on his face... He is also saying 'cheese' instead of just smiling...
This is the yellow dotted line he followed to his Safety Classroom every morning...
This is his 'group'... He is the 2nd from the left sitting in chairs (front row)... They had 4 groups... Green, Red, Blue and Purple... He was in the purple group... Aren't they cute!!! They song several songs about safety complete with hand movements... They all received a stop sign shaped diploma...
Proud Daddy and Mommy with Monkey newly Graduated from Saftey Town... He is mad and didn't want to wear his hat for the PIC...
Linebacker is telling me it's meal time... So, that's all for today...

Twists and Turns Thursday

We were told one thing and then when we showed up we were told something different for our oldest... That was frustrating, upsetting and a relief all at once... We are still very nervous but made real progress on finding help for our oldest... Hopefully tomorrow and beginning of next week we can move things along here towards the positive... Monkey had his first ST today... He did well... I updated the ST about our oldest... I was in a daze most of the afternoon after all that happened today with our oldest and all that is about to happen... In Safety Town today Monkey about Poisons and Pet Safety... They had a Pharmacist from our network give a talk on poisons... My good friend, Jen, stopped by with her famous soup, strawberries and bread... I'm thankful she was due to deliver a meal today... I really needed someone to visit with me and talk this afternoon... She stayed quite awhile... After she left I took a much needed nap... Today has been quite the ride...

Sunny Saturday

It has been raining like crazy but today is beautifully sunny in the mid 70s... Today one of my friends delivered a Mexican Hotdish of some sort (freezing since we have tons of previous meals delivered we need to finish up), fresh pineapple and a delicious salad with a vinaigrette dressing I've never tasted before... A friend of mine stopped by and gave me a few of her laminated posters and another calendar I can use dry erase markers on... Now if I can just find a place to hang it! I really need the extra space... The children and I walked to the park... Monkey rode his bike all the way there and back with little to no help... I'm so proud at how well he has learned to ride a bike in such a short amount of time... We stayed at the park until the street lights came on... We walked one and arrived home at 10 PM... Just in time for the news... It was a really great day... I felt great and confident as a mom... Something I haven't felt in a long long time...

Week 31 Wednesday

Another week closer to birth... So, funny I had a dream I gave birth in our living room on our new couch... I finished Ina May's Guide to Childbirth... I'm now reading Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May... I'm learning a lot but it's slow going... We have really been enjoying our new couch... After talking to several people it seems that in order to turn our oldest around and fix things we may have to take a step I really never wanted... It breaks my heart to have to do this... It seems this is the route we have to go though... It really bothers me... However things can't continue the way they are... So, I'm praying for God's strength and grace to make it through when this avoidable choice takes place... I'm going to change subjects now... Peanut is making progress by leaps and bounds in speech... She has almost mastered her beginning N and M sounds... She is still dropping letters off the end of the words so we are starting to focus on that along with other things... We have spent a lot of talk lately with Monkey about being a Kindergartner in the Fall... He has almost mastered the Letter A... We started working on B today... Both children with strep are now done with their antibiotics so that is exciting... I guess that is about all for today... I didn't go any where or do anything except drop off and pick up my oldest... Tomorrow is my busy day for the week... My oldest had his reward of Pizza Hut today... He told me he had Cheese Pizza... He earned train #1 of 5 for his next reward... Wonder what he will decide next...

Holy Thursday

The day started out well... I ran to the store for milk and things... It was relatively quiet... Peanut had ST today because tomorrow is Good Friday... It was a beautiful 1st Day of Spring... all the snow has nearly melted... I'm thinking about how I will be able to plant my garden soon... Once it warms up a bit we have to repair the fence around the garden and then I can plant... How exciting!!! I can't think what else happened at the moment...